The Subtle Mind exercise was a bit more difficult to master, but I do believe that over time I can train my mind in a way that this exercise will be quite beneficial to me. The Loving Kindness exercise was easier for me to accept because of the nature of the person that I am. I am already a loving, kind, and giving person and so the Loving Kindness exercise is already attached to me on a daily basis.
During the Subtle Mind exercise, I did find it a little difficult to get into a full mode of relaxation primarily due to all the chaos that is currently going on within our lives. As with the Loving Kindness exercise, my first attempt with the Subtle Mind exercise ended with me taking about a two hour nap. The funny thing about this one is that it was attempted when I was well rested with no chaos around me. Now although I didn't have any physical chaos within my boundaries, I still had chaos within the structure of my mind. The fact that I fell asleep on my first attempt might indicate that maybe I did do the exercise correctly and followed it through to achieve the end result I was looking for. I must say that I did feel pretty good after that nap... On my second attempt, I did listen to the exercise all the way through, but could never really get my mind to relax.
My spiritual wellness is directly linked to my physical and mental wellness and how well I am exercising all three. When I am tired, both mentally and physically, my spiritual wellness takes a direct hit and becomes tired and lazy. When dealing with emotional stress, I have noticed that it is tough to keep all three on track to integral wellness. It is tough, but I try everyday to find ways to keep all three functioning at the level for which I can ensure that I am not taking any steps back. This is tough, but I make efforts towards my goal every day regardless of what is going on around me.
Laura
Hi Laura, I enjoyed reading about your experiences with the exercises as they seem to be the complete opposite of my own. I also have a lot of chaos in my life right now but reading your post made me think about why exactly the loving kindness was harder for me as I to am an incredibly loving person. I have deduced that it is most likely because so many of my emotional and most painful hurts center around love. I am always happy to care for people and show them love. I have figured that as I do this throughout the day I am doing it without thought, it is just whom I am. But, to sit and focus purely on love I am thinking is causing brick walls to shoot up. I am going to have to explore this more. Thank you for your wonderful post as it was incredibly thought provoking for me.
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Laura, I believe that we had some similiar experiences. I did pretty good with the Loving kindness exercise because it is something that I practice in my life. I try to always show loving kindness, it did help me look at how much I love someone and how it is not easily reciprocated but understanding that was okay. I too think that the subtle mind will require much more attention and my environment will have to be a bit different. I will continue to try it until I see some real progress. At times I was so comfortable I kept trying to figure out was I doing it correctly. I think the fear of it not developing correctly kept me from really getting into it. Your post spoke my heart.
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